13 February 2012

This is the Bag!

Dear Blog,

Oh, boy. It is HARD to blog when you're married, y'all. I mean, my life is just so...busy now. Those 'Law & Order: SVU' marathons on TBS aren't going to watch themselves! Speaking of thrill-a-minute marital bliss: one of several adorable newlywed things that Jame-o and I do now is watch god-awful reality television and come up with ways we would improve upon the show if we were cast into the role of executive producer. Now, I'm not just sharing this fun married fact with you to make you completely die of jealousy over how cool and interesting we are. I'm also sharing because James is the best at this game. His most recent stroke of brilliance: 'The Bag'.

The premise for 'The Bag' is eerily similar to NBC's boring new singing competition 'The Voice', except that in 'The Bag' when the judges turn around to see the contestant whose singing was so spectacular that it compelled them to go through the trouble of pushing a button, the contestant is wearing a bag on their head. And the contestants go through the entire season with their heads in bags, gaining fan support based solely on their vocal talent and not for how winged their eyeliner is or how tight their man skinnies are. Can you imagine?

Basically, what I'm trying to tell you here is that I married a goddamn genius. One who, at this very moment, is letting me watch 'Smash' with only occasional eyerolls and groans.

True love for the win!


11 August 2011


I mean, truly, is there anything better than drinking a bottle of wine and nuzzling up to the 'So You Think You Can Dance' season finale?

I concede that there is not.


PS: I'm baaaa-aaack

PPS: don't hold me to that...

26 January 2011

Oh HI!

Dear Blog,

Oh. Wow. SO much has been going on since the last time we talked! Let's see...there was Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Eve and my 29th Birthday! That happened today, actually. It didn't really feel like that big of a deal. Work and a sweet dinner date with my darling. Not too shabby, amiright? I can't tell if I feel old or not. I mean, essentially, I haven't aged a day:

so, I've got that going for me. Which is nice.

Let's see, what else has been swangin' up in hurr? I got a haircut. Bought a new lamp. Ooh, I got the CUTEST pair of leopard ballet flats from Zappos. That was a great day. We had broiled salmon for dinner on Monday. There was something else. What was it....hmmm...uhmmmaaaaaa....oh, yeah:

WE GOT ENGAGED! Boom! Duh, Kate!

Being engaged RULEZ, y'all! I have so much to tell you, but you're going to have to wait. Come on. You should be used to it by now!


30 September 2010


Dear Blog,

Omyfreakingawd you guys: I am totally typing this on a phone. Can you even believe this? Sure, it's taken me literally 45 minutes to get to this part of the sentence because I have to keep deleting extra 'q's I'm hitting with my giant sausage fingers, but whatever; I have officially arrived at the doorstep of the 21st century! Hooray me!!

I'm going to try to put a picture on here now. We'll see what happens...hold on to your horses peeps.

Nope. Couldn't do it. But still, you've gotta admit: pretty imprrssive.



28 September 2010

What Teachers Make

Dear blog,

This is kind of a big deal...



20 September 2010

September Smorgasbord

Oh Blog,

It is really hard remembering that you exist. One minute I'm dancing in dizzy circles around the new house, practically setting my credit card ablaze with the speed and ferocity with which I am whipping it out at Ikea, Target and Lowe's buying throw pillows and ironing boards and bookends - the bare necessities. Then I turn around and it's freaking fall? Fall fail, Seasons! Way to not even tell me you were coming so that I could prepare by, oh, I don't know, buying a wreath at Michael's or some plastic pumpkins at Garden Ridge. Speaking of Garden Ridge: I'll see them all in hell AFTER they send us the hardware that was not included in the box with the pieces of the adirondack rocking chair that we purchased this weekend, thus prompting us to spend 2 hours and $30 at Ace Hardware on screws. The next time I spend $30 on screws, there better be a Thai hooker that looks like Angelina Jolie present. Ugh.

I don't know how to segue from Angelina Thai hooker to anything else but just pretend I did and that it was hilarious.

My sister Lo came to visit earlier this month and I took her out to the ball game. Well, Jame-o bought the tix but I bought them both Cracker Jacks and, really, what's more fun: tickets to a major league baseball game or popcorn that always tastes stale and lodges itself in your gums so that days later, despite vigorously flossing you are still reminded that you over paid severely for something that could have been purchased for $1.00 at the Quik Trip.

Big picture, people...

Hey look at me: I'm like a baseball magician's assistant or something...

This is the greatest and best picture that has ever been taken of either of us. Or anyone else, now that I'm really looking at it.

This picture makes me feel sad. And also like an awesome giant.

I have a giant head and teeny bird legs. I'm like a living, breathing bobble head doll.

This guy in our section spontaneously combusted. It was super scary. But also majorly hilarious.

After that some other stuff went down that maybe I'll tell you about tomorrow (but let's be real; I probably won't. Sorry!) and then tonight the unthinkable happened:

Who wants to ride in the basket?


This is what it's going to look like in real life.

Everyone else on the road, however, loses.


25 August 2010

It's Official...I'm in Luv

Dear Blog,

We've moved! It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears (mainly blood, thanks to Jame-o's buddy Joseph slicing his arm off on our couch) but we did it. Well, Jame-o and his crew of swarthy gentlemen did it. I mainly just stood around agonizing over where my picture frames should eventually wind up. But whatevs, bro - we have a new place to hang our hats now! Ok, technically, we don't have a place to hang hats, so much as maybe a corner where a hat could be placed or a mantle where a hat could sit but srsly people: semantics!

The point of all this, besides the fact that I am so exhausted I am literally typing this with my eyes closed (I'm like the Helen Keller of typing, you guys), is that - despite the commute and the fact that a little part of me is still totes worried about getting beheaded - I get SUPERDOUBLEHAPPYPUMPEDUPSPARKLESHOESALEEXCITED every time I turn on to my street.

I mean, just look at this place:

Look at Mr. Bluebowl, chillin' with his buddies. He looks lonely but I think it's making him a stronger person...er, I mean bowl. I mean I'm not crazy, I swear...

We have HD now. Which means nothing to me except that now I can really be frightened by/ enamored with Rachel Zoe's face. I die for her. Bananas.

This is our favorite room because I give the best, most future-focused presents ever.

The bedroom is the same size as our last apartment. I could River Dance in here, y'all.

Just call me Decorator Genius Girl. No really. Do it. Please?

It's good times.

Come visit me, won't you?
Bring a hatrack.