It is really hard remembering that you exist. One minute I'm dancing in dizzy circles around the new house, practically setting my credit card ablaze with the speed and ferocity with which I am whipping it out at Ikea, Target and Lowe's buying throw pillows and ironing boards and bookends - the bare necessities. Then I turn around and it's freaking fall? Fall fail, Seasons! Way to not even tell me you were coming so that I could prepare by, oh, I don't know, buying a wreath at Michael's or some plastic pumpkins at Garden Ridge. Speaking of Garden Ridge: I'll see them all in hell AFTER they send us the hardware that was not included in the box with the pieces of the adirondack rocking chair that we purchased this weekend, thus prompting us to spend 2 hours and $30 at Ace Hardware on screws. The next time I spend $30 on screws, there better be a Thai hooker that looks like Angelina Jolie present. Ugh.
I don't know how to segue from Angelina Thai hooker to anything else but just pretend I did and that it was hilarious.
My sister Lo came to visit earlier this month and I took her out to the ball game. Well, Jame-o bought the tix but I bought them both Cracker Jacks and, really, what's more fun: tickets to a major league baseball game or popcorn that always tastes stale and lodges itself in your gums so that days later, despite vigorously flossing you are still reminded that you over paid severely for something that could have been purchased for $1.00 at the Quik Trip.
Big picture, people...
Hey look at me: I'm like a baseball magician's assistant or something...
This is the greatest and best picture that has ever been taken of either of us. Or anyone else, now that I'm really looking at it.
This picture makes me feel sad. And also like an awesome giant.
I have a giant head and teeny bird legs. I'm like a living, breathing bobble head doll.
This guy in our section spontaneously combusted. It was super scary. But also majorly hilarious.
After that some other stuff went down that maybe I'll tell you about tomorrow (but let's be real; I probably won't. Sorry!) and then tonight the unthinkable happened:
Who wants to ride in the basket?
This is what it's going to look like in real life.
Everyone else on the road, however, loses.