Dear Blog,
How old am I? Do you have any idea? Because I thought I was in my late twenties but, after watching the MTV Movie Awards yesterday night, I think I may be a forty five year old mormon mother of four. All that swearing! And the nudity! It had my petticoats all in a bunch.Here are my issues with this year's MTV Movie Awards:
- Were any of the movies nominated last night released within the past 2 years? Didn't Jennifer's Body come out in the summer of 1997 or something?
- Ugh. Kristin Stewart. Fall off the grid already.
- What has The Rock done to his face?! His beautiful, beautiful face?!?! No me gusta.
- Ooh, look at us, we're on MTV and we drop an f-bomb every other word because we are cool teenagers...even though the person swearing the most during our show is Peter Facinelli who, let's be honest, is as middle aged as they come. Seriously, he plays R-Patz' dad.
- Okay, Katy Perry: you've got nice boobs. You can put them away now. PS - is every one of her songs contractually obligated to include at least one penis pun?
- Didn't Paris Hilton die of VD like 3 years ago? When she showed up on screen I thought I had inadvertently flipped to a zombie movie.
- I think Lindsay Lohan and I might actually be the same age. If it turns out I am in fact forty five, that is. Shorty's lookin' rough.
- Who the hell is tweeting about the MTV movie awards? It made me sad. Although, I guess I'm blogging about them. That makes me sadder.
- I'm afraid that I only like Shaun White when he's in a snowboarding outfit. When left to his own devices, he shows up looking like the love child of Carrot Top and Jim Morrison.
- What is a Justin Bieber?
So thanks, MTV, for making me realize that I really am too old for this shit. And for making it evident I'm not missing out on much.
In other news: Jame-o and I bought a camera this weekend. It's totes nice. We plan on using it to take pictures of the kids on their way to church and maybe photograph our Phil Collins record collection. Swingin' hip good times!
*elderly*
*Babe-zilla*
Love,k8
Once again you gave me my first hard laugh of the day! I was just over at JB's show and tell and your comment made me pee! Ok, maybe not pee but, it was close. What can I say, I'm old too, and it gets harder to control the ol bladder! Make sure you tag along with Jess on one of her visits so that I can really wet my pants!
ReplyDeleteKate - you are more hilarious than I can even say. I love you. PS - I just saw a picture of us from a college break, wearing our Rugrats watches - THOSE were the kind of days when we could sit back, relax, and say "Justin Bieber"– I mean, "Timberlake" with confidence.
ReplyDeletePS - This picture reminds me to tell you that I can't wait until we get to the beach and James and I get to share a bed.
PSYCH!
Katie Perry's boobs are everywhere. I can't even buy celery without seeing a picture of them. But the penis nods are pretty funny. I'll give her that. And what's a justin bieber? LOL. I think it's a machine with donald trump hair.
ReplyDelete