k8 the gr8: Did someone say "pond of llamas?"

Dear Blog,

I've been agonizing over what to write about our trip to Destin 2 weeks ago - so much so, that I have completely psyched myself out. I've come to the conclusion that I'll just post a bunch of photos and let them do the talking...well, most of the talking.

We arrived on Tuesday at, like, midnight. However, seeing that there's a time difference, it was really more like 4:30am or something. Whatever, I'm not a scientist.

The next morning, I woke up and drove to the ends of the earth to pick up Jessica Bailey (Yessica Nailme, for those in the know) at the airport. I drove alone because I'm a good girlfriend and I let Jame-o stay home and watch the World Cup. I'm also a horrible girlfriend because, according to me, I'm in charge of Jame-o's day and honestly feel I deserve a round of applause for not dragging him downstairs and forcing him into the car with me. So sad for Jame-o!

After consuming our weight in Screwdrivers and Pinot Grigio, we hit the beach and melted.

Seriously, it was totes hot out there. I almost spontaneously burst into flames.

We hit up Red Bar and lost our ability to see (or exist) in color.

Look at that siren! It was Jessica's "Movie Star from the 40's Weekend Bonanza" or something.

Here's Jessica inviting me to her family reunion...and then immediately uninviting me. What a bitch.

These are our most genuine fake smiles.

Living the dream. Mermaid style.

Consider yourself mesmerized. Oy, Yessica! Muy caliente!

James tried to escape the siren song. Or maybe he's just psychic and knew that this was in store for him the next day:

Aaaahhhh! An abominable snowman has wandered onto the beach and collapsed! My eyes! The humanity! Aaaahhh!!

Side note: I internet apologize to the woman who inadvertently photo-bombed this picture.

Is that a majestic orca, cresting in the surf?

My bestie. True dat.

On our last night, I decided it would be acceptable for me to carbo-load, since the sun had officially set on bikini season. PUNS!

Jessica, acting like a hipster even while eating bread. That's dedication.

I couldn't have planned a better weekend. Well, I mean, I could have, but my funds were limited, Jame-o isn't a twin and there wasn't a helicopter pad at the condo.