Dear Blog,

Is anyone else having as big a problem as I am with the new Kotex U feminine hygiene product commercials? Since when does menstruation make me a hipster bad-ass? I mean, sure, sometimes it makes me act like kind of a bitch, but I didn't think tampons were the type of thing that really needed an EXTREEEEEME makeover.

Today I caught the end of one of the commercials in which they noted that these particular pantiliners come in "big girl colors". Really? Is the color of the packaging really a selling point? Because, the last time I checked, when my purse spilled open during a hot date and a fistful of Tampax went tumbling across the floor of the movie theater, I wasn't embarrassed because their wrappers were lackluster. I wasn't thinking "DAMNIT! If only those things were hot pink, thus attracting even more attention to themselves, this moment would be totes less awkward." Also: who is qualifying neon pink and green as 'big girl' colors? Do they mean colors that I thought were cool when I was 7 and my parents were telling me to act like a big girl and not hit my sister in the head with my NKOTB doll?

side-note: Jame-o just looked over and, upon seeing my field research regarding this post (aka, the interactive Kotex U website) asked, shocked, "what are you DOING?" He then asked that I not write side-notes about him. oopsie...

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah: I'm not feeling these commercials. I want my FHP marketing to make me feel good about swimming and biking and wearing white pants with confidence - all things I don't do even when I'm not on my period. It's just a comfort to know I could if I needed to. Like, if there was a gun to my head.

I was just warned that, by writing about tampons, I would ultimately alienate my male audience. I then reminded the person warning me that he, in fact, comprised my male audience in its entirety and, as my boyfriend, would be forced to follow my blog regardless of content. I'm such a tyrant - maybe it's PMS. I think I'll run out and buy some neon pads and listen to MGMT while reading the Urban Outfitters catalog.

I'm so scene. Thanks, Kotex U!

Love,

k8